Chinese Antiques

Antique Vases, Bowls, Statues, swords and more

Oriental Chinese

February 21st, 2009

Angie

Oriental Chinese

Box of 144 Cocktail Drink Hawaiian Paper Parasol Umbrella Picks

$3.99

Paper Hibiscus Cocktail Parasols. Assorted colors. (1 gr./DB) 2″ parasol on a 4″ stick. Accessories not included….

Helen Chen’s Asian Kitchen 14-inch Carbon Steel Wok with Bamboo Handles

$24.99

Handsome, rugged, and classic in composition, this Asian Kitchen wok is an ideal tool for the high-heat searing and stir-frying called for in Eastern cooking. Created by Helen Chen, daughter of renowned Chinese chef Joyce Chen, the pan is made of durable 1.8 mm carbon steel. Substantial in weight and construction, it will gradually season to create an optimum cooking surface for veggies, seafood, …

Asian Red/Black Soup Spoons, Set of 2

$1.95

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Ketelbey: In a Persian Market; In a Monastery Garden; In a Chinese Temple Garden

$14.98

All products are BRAND NEW and factory sealed. Fast shipping and 100% Satisfaction Guaranteed….

Chinese Lullabies

$10.30

All products are BRAND NEW and factory sealed. Fast shipping and 100% Satisfaction Guaranteed….

Stunt

$2.11

The Ladies have done more than lie in bed the way Brian Wilson did; they’ve spent some quality sandbox time mastering the intricacies of catchy pop records, hooks and all. Sounding at times like Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young after a week in the Caribbean, the Ladies mix a dash of rap with a pop backbeat on “One Week,” while “It’s All Been Done” is classic 1960s Top 40, right down to the “woo-hoo-ho…

Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends – Thomas, Percy & The Dragon [VHS]

$12.98

Brand New!!! VHS TAPE Sealed (as shown) “Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends – Thomas, Percy & The Dragon [VHS]” Fast shipping..(PB-28)…

Qigong: Traditional Chinese Exercises for Healing Body, Mind, and Spirit [VHS]

$13.98

Qigong is Chinese meditation in motion, an ancient healing art using posture, exercise, breathing, and concentration. This video shows you how to harness the power of qi–the energy of the universe–to heal body and mind. Qigong uses dynamic, gentle movements and meditative postures. The video starts with a warm-up of whole-body breathing. Then master instructor Ken Cohen teaches a selection of ex…

Legend of the Red Dragon [VHS]

$5.89

A distraught warrior (the charismatic Jet Li) forces his toddler son to choose between a sword and a wooden horse. If he chooses the sword, together they will fight the corrupt government that killed their family; if he chooses the horse, the warrior will send him to join his mother–in hell. Thus begins The New Legend of Shaolin, a wild Hong Kong fantasy. Though the opening sounds grim, the movie…

10 Sky Lanterns – White

$12.49

White paper lantern can be use for a party or as a lamp shade. Each comes with instructions. 12″ diameter. If you do have a design theme that you are going for, keep that in mind when you are looking to purchase fixtures for your home. Your theme might be tranquility and harmony. Another theme might be comfort and functionality. Whatever your theme may be, Asian home furniture and accessories can…

I am going to an oriental murder mystery tonight and need some Chinese Jokes.?

I mean about Chinese people you know. Like the Englishman Irishman and…! Please it would be a great help.

A Chinaman goes to see the eye doctor.

After his exam, the doctor says, “We found out what the trouble is”.

The little yellowman asks, “What is it?”.

The doctor replies, “You have a cataract”.

The rice-eater responds negatively, saying, “Ro! I have a Rincoln Contirental”.
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Did you hear the one about the Chinese Godfather?
He made them an offer they couldn’t understand!
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How do you know if a chink robbed your house?
Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later the chink is still trying to back out of your driveway!
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Why do gooks relate to computers so well?
Because they both only see bits!
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Why did the Romans build straight roads?
So Slopes couldn’t build corner shops!
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Why can’t Chinese couples have normal-eyed babies?
Because two Wongs don’t make a White!
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Have you heard about the new Chinese cookbook?
100 ways to wok your dog!
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What does a chinaman do when he has an erection?
He votes!
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What did the black guy say when asked by his history teacher what he knew of Truman’s efforts to end the war with the Slants?
“It was the bomb”!
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A single Chinese man owns a Chinese restaurant, and one day a beautiful Chinese woman walks in. He immediately walks over and asks her out on a date. She agrees. They go out for a while, and soon, the man proposes to her. She says “Yes, but before we do, there’s something you must know. I have never had sex, but I have read about it.” He says that it’s not a problem, and they are married.

On their honeymoon, the man tells his wife that since she’s a virgin, she can choose what they do first. She says “Oh, most honorable husband. I am honored to be your wife, even though I have never had the sex, but I have read about it. So, I have chosen start off with the 69!

The husband looks confused, and after thinking about it, he says “You want.. the beef and broccoli?”
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For the record, I have nothing but the utmost respect for Asians. I’m actually a wannabe Asian and am incredibly attracted to Asian women. If there are any single Asian women out there, contact me! I promise to not make jokes at your expense. This is just a tacky response that shouldn’t be taken seriously. Thanks!