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May 27th, 2008 
Angie Man
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Bronze Chinese Sanxingdui 2 kneel man carve statue 跪人 $89.00 |
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Vintage Chinese Mud men figure from the late 70s part of the laborer party China $20.00 |
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Chinese Porcelain Pot Round Ancient Man Cooking Cheerful Simple Exquisite 6 $9.99 |
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Vintage Chinese Mud men figure from the late 70s part of the laborer party China $20.00 |
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Vintage Chinese Mud men figure from the late 70s part of the laborer party China $15.00 |
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Vintage Chinese Mud men figure from the late 70s part of the rest after long day $18.00 |
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Vintage Chinese Mud men figure from the late 70s part of the rest after long day $8.00 |
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Very Rare Chinese Hand Crafted Artistic Hard Wood Old Man Statute $68.80 |
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Vintage Chinese Mud men figure from the late 70s part of the rest after long day $10.00 |
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ANTIQUE CHINESE CINNABAR LACQUERED PLAQUE ON BRASS – OLD MAN & BOY BY TREE $55.29 |
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Natural Hetian WhiteJade Carving Bracelet Gift Good luck Flexible Woman Man $19.99 |
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Antique Chinese Man Holding A Book Scholar Statue Figurine Marked China $29.99 |
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Pottery Chinese Scent / Snuff Bottle – Man with Child – Oriental $12.63 |
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Ancient jade carving man $48.99 |
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Copper Plate / Dish – Enamelled & Hand Painted Scene – Oriental Man & Woman $15.79 |
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Brass Ball Design Quartz Copper Vintage Men Mechanical Necklace Pocket Watch $3.34 |
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uf070 Mudman Figurine of Foolish Man Remove a Mountain $49.99 |
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Chinese Ancestor Painting of a Man. $400.00 |
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Fine 19th/20th Century Ox Bone & MOP Panel Picture of A Japanese Man & Boy. $178.57 |
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SET OF 3 VINTAGE ASIAN MUD MEN $124.99 |
Name me Manly McManliness
I found an article that Cracked.com posted a long ass time ago, and I have had it saved in my bookmarks since. I never really thought I would ever find a use for it until the Man Institute was born. The article is basically a list of the 9 manliest names ever found and whether or not the people live up to their names, and I’m sure some of you have viewed it. Obviously there are going to be arguments made for and against each name, but it is impossible to argue that a persons name does not greatly determine their manliness in life. The cracked article can be found here.
This got me thinking. If a persons life is pre-determined by the name given to them at birth, why are people still being named unsuccesfully. I’m not talking about surnames obviously, or even middle names, but first givens. Surnames and middle names are a little hard to argue, and I think it’s kind of like a badge of honor if you have a ridiculous middle name as chances are it was decided for you after a few drinks and a conversation with an estranged family member who desperately needs some form legacy, even if it does only consist of his name being referenced within your own. Damn you uncle Mervin and your conniving ways!!
But honestly, I think it is possible to determine a persons lifestyle, weight, and overall success just on the basis of their name. Try it out sometime, I guarentee you’ll be astonished with your accuracy. To prove my point I’m going to list a few names that I personally associate with certain things. Read the name and think of everyone you know or have met with that first name, I would put good money that the stereotype is not far off.
Patricia- Obese, or at least marginally overweight
Beatrice- Also obese, brown hair, huge melon
Bruce- Never cleanly shaven, pretty large (not necessarily fat), likely works a trade of some type
Steve (the ones who are referred to as Steve, and not Steven)- Average build, leans toward muscular, most likely to have lighter colored hair, likes to wear wife beaters, generally construction workers
Sarah- Generally pretty hot, a little on the insane side
Autumn- Awesomely hot, but never too bright upstairs
So, what do you think? Am I getting pretty close? Likely. It’s a fun game, and if you play it, you will realize that the name truly does make the person. Now, since this is supposed to be a man website it is necessary to identify some first names you can give your child that will ensure his spot in man heaven, before it is too late.
Always Manly Names
Clint- Self explanatory…one syllable of manliness. Clint may not always be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I guarantee you that if he reaches age 50, he will have some awesome stories.
Grizzly- You cannot name your kid after a man killing animal and expect him to grow up unmanly, it’s an impossibility. Not to mention, you also know he will have ridiculously awesome facial hair and likely be the envy of all his childhood friends. Try turning the name grizzly into some type of negative nickname. Can’t do it.
Tim- Not to be confused with Timothy. Tim is a name that is short and to the point. It exudes manliness via its simplicity. Tim’s are generally found working on vehicles and smashing their thumbs with hammers. Have short tempers when drinking, but are usually pretty tough to back it up. They usually are able to out-think many of their manly name associates.
Wolfgang- You will never see a Wolfgang under the age of 40. In fact, men named Wolfgang walk out of their mothers vagina’s smoking corn cob pipes and telling stories of their youth…stories laden with curse words. When I was a wee lad I knew a fella named Wolfgang and refused to even walk near his house, for fear of him chasing me down the street just to give me an ass kicking for that one time I stole carrots out of his garden.
Ivan- Usually a monster of a man. Hands the size of frying pans and he’s not afraid to slap you around with them. Ivans generally make excellent father figures and are masters in child discipline. They don’t necessarily need a beard to scare the shit out of you, they are capable of accomplishing this with the tone of their voice alone.
Magnus- This is kind of stolen from the Cracked list, but it is too manly not to mention here. The name itself means “great.” Naturally, anyone sporting the name is going to be physically incapable of being small or weak. Producing muscle at an exponential rate, your son will soon become the manliest behemoth child on the block. The instant someone calls him Fagnus Magnus, your child will have the physical size and strength to crush the little rodents skull to dust.
Well, this was just a brief “emergency” list you might say. Take these names and begin forcing them on your significant other as soon as possible. By the time she is ready to birth your children, she will be completely convinced with your reasoning, and accept it. Although, you must be prepared to never have sex with her ever again, as the majority of these names accompany children so large and powerful, the average vagina would never recover. Unless your wife is named Wanda, in that case she will just walk it off.
Feel free to post your own comment as to how far off I am, or just add to the list of obvious name-lifestyle correlations.
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Cuisinart DCC-RWF1 Replacement Coffeemaker Water Filters, Set of 2 $3.50 Cuisinart DCC-RWF Coffee Water Filter Replacement… |
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Cuisinart GR-4N 5-in-1 Griddler $185.00 The Cuisinart(tm) Griddler makes “multifunctional” an understatement! Make perfect panini… plus! With four separate cooking options, it can handle everything from pancakes to sausages to grilled cheese to steaks, hamburgers and panini. It helps you prepare more servings of more kinds of food in less time, so you can cook for a crowd — no one has to wait!Simply change the cooking plates and adju… |
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Black & Decker TR1256B 850-Watt 2-Slice Toaster with Bagel Function and Removable Crumb Tray $15.45 Make toast and bagels with ease with an 850-watt, 2-slice toaster. One-touch functions for bagel and defrost feature easy-to-see blue indicator lights, with a toast shade selector knob for just the right amount of toasting. The extra-wide slots feature auto-adjusting bread guides for thick or thin slices, with an auto lift lever to make removing your breads easy. All this, plus a removable crumb t… |
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Men In Black $2.99 … |
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A Dangerous Method $3.99 … |
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Men In Black II (+ UltraViolet Digital Copy) [Blu-ray] $10.75 The black-suited, shades-wearing dynamic duo of Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones are back for more alien fun in this hit sequel. With the Earth’s future threatened by leather-clad, multi-tentacled Lara Flynn Boyle and two-headed cohort Johnny Knoxville, Smith “de-neutralizes” Jones out of postal worker retirement to stop the creepy pair. With Rosario Dawson, Rip Torn, and Michael Jackson. 88 min. Wi… |
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ZICO Pure Premium Coconut Water, Natural, 14-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12) $23.89 COCONUT WATER 12pk/14oz Zico. Miracle of hydration and replenishment. We hand-harvest the most delicious and nutritious young green coconuts from around the world to bring you Zico Pure Premium Coconut Water. With 5 essential electrolytes, including more potassium than one whole banana, Zico assures rapid hydration and replenishment. Zico Pure Premium Coconut Water naturally has Zero fat, Zer… |
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Vita Coco 100% Pure Coconut Water, 17-Ounce Boxes (Pack of 12) $20.32 High in potassium, fat free, cholesterol free, low in acidity and no added sugar, Contains five essential electrolytes–potassium, magnesium, calcium, sodium and phosphorous…. |
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Newman’s Own Special Blend Coffee, K-Cup Portion Pack for Keurig K-Cup Brewers … |
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Metro 2033 [Download] $4.99 … |
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